Monday, November 30, 2009

Family Frenemies

For a long time I peeled layers in my blogs, then, at some point, I stopped being so transparent. This blog hasn't peeled so many layers, but those of you that knew the old blogs understand what I mean. I posted this paragraph a few years ago:

I am positive that many of you reading this have never really been to my blog before. Let me set something straight, I write alot of stuff down in here. It is my outlet. I write what I'm thinking and many times I type what comes to my mind before I think about it. I have a hard time editing my original thoughts. I don't use this to "pretty" up my problems; I use this to show them at their ugliest moments, and I feel editing would cheapen my thoughts and feelings. Having stated that...I'm moving on.

I would like to reiterate that. It was true back then, and it is true now. I have always found that writing is the greatest stress relief for me. It allows me the freedom to unravel my tangled thoughts and to approach each tangle individually. In the past few days I have been stuck in one tangle. It's a 'family tangle.' Which, is the worst tangle of all. It's always more difficult dealing with family members than friends. I guess it's the fact that you can choose and lose friends; whereas, there is no loss of family.

"Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength."--Eric Hoffer

I understand that not everyone in the world is going to like me, and that's perfectly fine. There are plenty of people that I'm not fond of either. However, there is such a huge difference in not liking someone, and being rude to someone. I don't understand such perfected rudeness.

I also understand that there are women in the world who simply love drama. They thrive on it. Sadly, some women never outgrow it. My presumption is that these women over the age of 25, probably cling to drama because they are completely unhappy with their own lives. It seems the older the woman, the more unhappy she must be. I pity her. It must be a terrible life to spend every day planning and manipulating others' lives to feel happy and successful in your own. (Oddly enough, I believe she has made a very similar statement about someone else.) Unfortunately, I now have one of these 'frenemies' in my life. I don't have to see her very often, but her rudeness and immaturity baffle me. You see, I was raised to be kind and polite. I was taught to 'pray for those who hurt you,' and to 'kill 'em with kindness.' I guess I've always believed that everyone was raised that way. So, you can imagine my confusion of being thrown into the lion's den with the most manipulative, rude person I've ever met.

"Why give into rudeness, when you can fight back with kindness."--Donna Favors

At first, I was angry and appalled at her behavior. Then, I realized it wasn't really worth my time. I can't change an inherent behavior that has always been a part of her. I guess I'm glad she takes it out on me and not someone that equally loves drama. I find it all kind of humorous now, and I have a compassion for this woman that she'll never understand. I'm thankful that I do not act this way. After spending some time in prayer about it, I've come to the conclusion that the only thing I can do is pray for her. I pray that she finds happiness in her husband and children. I pray that she finds peace and purpose in her life. I pray that God will heap blessings on her. Of course, I also have to pray for my attitude toward her. I still feel somewhat slighted by the whole mess, and I just wish that she would realize how much she is missing in life by her rude and self indulgent drama. As much as I want to punch her face in sometimes, I have to remember that punching is neither a form of encouragement nor lifting her up. :)

"All of you should be in agreement, understanding each other, loving each other as family, being kind and humble. Do not do wrong to repay a wrong, and do not insult to repay an insult. But repay with a blessing, because you yourselves were called to do this so that you might receive a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9

----Still have a lot to work on with that.....

*For the record, I am not referring to my sister-in-law, Beth! I love her and she is wonderful to me!

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