Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Because I Know What the People Want!

For those of you that enjoyed my most famous masterpiece of a blog....and for those of you that have yet to experience it, I have decided to repost an old entry from July 2005. This is categorically the most amazing blog you will ever read. If Obama can win the Nobel Peace Prize...I could DEFINITELY win the Pulitzer Prize, and most likely, the Biggest Dunce Award!

Anna vs Treadmill/The Treadmill vs Anna

Ok...I hope ya'll are ready for this one because it's a doosy. By now, most of you know that I'm accident prone and if anyone can do something absolutely's me! So here's this day, week, month, and year's BEST story (like EVER):

From My Perspective:So there I was, listening to the radio, singing along, focusing on running, when I see my precious little dog with a ball in his mouth begging me to throw it. So I step off the treadmill...which is no big deal, I've stepped off and stepped back on the treadmill with it running hundreds of times...well not today. Normally, I step off the treadmill from the side, and step back on the treadmill from the side to avoid any catastrophes. Well this time, I was in LaLa Land and I stepped on the back. It doesn't take physics for you to guess what happens to a person who stupidly steps on a treadmill going 5 mph...I go down. However, it does not throw me completely off, so I start trying to crawl my way up to the front so I can pull that thing out to make it stop. Which took awhile because I was laughing so hard I couldn't focus on the task! So I finally reach the cord and pull the clip out. It stops abruptly sending me back and laying me out on the floor. By this time my roommate and her boyfriend come down the stairs (apparently the whole ordeal was pretty loud lol) and they double over in laughter because they just see me with my face on the treadmill and the rest of my body sprawled out on the floor. Pretty obvious what had happened I guess! Being the true champ I am, I gather up my skinned knees and get back on the treadmill...I will not be defeated! The best part is that right before I stepped off, I was thinking "I think I'll wear a skirt tomorrow." Now I look like I have psoriasis on my knees!

From The Treadmill's Perspective:So there I was, resting from rolling my tread along those steel rollers, when I see that crazy redhead coming down the stairs in knit shorts, a t-shirt and running shoes. I know what this means...she's ready for her late night rendezvous with me. She hops on like she's some stud and turns me on....1 mph, 2 mph, 3 mph, 4 mph, 4.3 mph. This is where she leaves it for 1 min until she's "warmed up." Then she bumps me up to 5 mph and starts to jog. Then I see that little dog of hers with his tiny tennis ball in his mouth...I hate that dog, it has relieved itself on me in the past. So the ditzy redhead steps off to throw the ball to him. I figure, now's my chance! I'll send telepathic messages her way and interrupt those brain cells of hers. (I mean, come on, she can't have that many anyway.) I see her walking toward me...but this time she's coming from behind me...not the side. This could only mean one plan was working! Muhahaha! So she steps up on me and BAM! I send her to her knees! If I were an Aggie, I'd have given a big WHOOP for that one! I could have stopped myself, but it was too much fun. Instead of just rolling off the end like most normal humans would do, she decides to fight me! She starts crawling toward my power source. I'm dumbfounded by this bold move and she uses this weaknesses against me as she struggles forward, reaching and grasping for my little cord. Then she grabs the cord and it shuts me off. I got the last laugh because my abrupt stop sent her flying backwards. She stands up laughing that annoying laugh of hers and I can't help but stare at my handiwork on her knees. I did good. Real good. But, she's a trooper and starts me up again and I roll along...maybe we both have a little more respect for one another now...just maybe...

So Cody and Me, along with our friends Justin and Allia were having dinner the other night and this story came it usually does because they were their to witness the tail end of this magical event...when Cody remembered reading about it one of the many notebooks full of letters I had written to my "future husband" years ago. He found it and I had definitely drawn an AWESOME picture to go with my story:

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Battle of the Fleas

I do not understand how such a tiny little jerk can be so hard to kill. We offically waged war on them in June and they are still here! Kind of like terrorists. Actually, they are ALOT like terrorists! They hide, and we cannot find them. They sneak onto our land unnoticed. They breed and form terror cells on our dogs. The only difference is that there is no apparent leader named Osama Blood-Sucking-Flea Hussein Bin Laden. Maybe I should start listening for high pitched prayer calls. We have had the yard sprayed and used every shampoo/spray/spot treatment there is and they will not leave. Our neighbor has a large dog that lives outside...and I'm sure they hop off of him and onto our little dogs. We're trying one last spray outside called BioSpot. I've also read that salt will dry out the eggs, so I'm sprinkling salt on the rugs tonight and vacuuming it up tomorrow. Cody has talked to our neighbor and suggested a flea bath for his dog, he is an older man so he always says his grandaughters are going to do it when they come over...which never happens. I'm afraid I'm going to have to hop the fence and do it myself...